Walk This Way
by hoheehum
Summary: Chicks dig a guy in uniform. Even if his hair looks like it's eating him. ZackAeris [OneShot]


**NEW! A/N: **Alright, so I... um... _watched_ Crisis Core (after finally deciding I just can't afford a PSP right now, not-lol), and it's _awesome_. _Really_ good story. I _knew_ there's a reason I love Zack. Anyway, _unlike_ Dirge of Cerberus, I consider CC canon. That means that _this_ is _officially AU_. (DoC is... optional canon. The NOT CONTRIVED parts of the story can stay, which is to say, _not much_.) Anyway, (plug!) check out my profile to find out about future fics. Also: (moreplugplugplug) check out my C2, "**1**". It's only one-shots or vignette-types. And all of them are good. Promise.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Final Fantasy VII nor the characters, concepts, etc. therein. -_Points to cardboard cut-out of hoheehum's dad_- he's a lawyer, here to protect me. -_picks up cardboard cut-out and swings it around_-. Oh, and I also don't own Febreeze

**Walk This Way**

**By hoheehum**

O

Luck is not something I put a lot of stock in. Oh, it exists. Like any good warrior, I know that there's good juju and bad juju and that the trick sometimes is just keeping your head down and hoping that karma and irony pass you by and pick on somebody else. But I'm not going to count on luck to win a fight, or to plan a battle, or to save a life.

But sometimes... right now, I'm thinking I must have done something _really_ right. There are over eight million people in this city. About four million of them live down here. And of those four million beggars and thieves and cutthroats and hustlers and scum, I found a girl who could make Shiva jealous.

I mean, just, _wow_.

If I put this little thing into words, I'd be shorting the Gods' Great Powers. Shiva only knows how she got down _here_. But hey, I'm not complaining.

She must get a lot of creeps down here ogling her like a piece of meat- oh. Oops.

"Can I help you?"

Would you listen to that _voice_! Commence operation 'Walk Over And Talk To Her'. (Military nomenclature 101: Keep it simple.)

"Um, uh, yeah, actually. Yes, yes you can. See, my partner and I are celebrating our fifth anniversary this year, and I was kind of hoping to get him something real original." I'm pulling out my gil, and Hades himself couldn't keep me from buying as many of those flowers as I possibly can. "How much?"

"Ah…A gil each…" She's doing that whole 'blink-blink-huh?' thing, which is good. It's always good to throw women off track, see? Evens the footing a bit.

"Um, I'm sorry." Insert charming smile **_here_**. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Actually, he's my business partner. Or— well, I'm his second, um, in command. Well, I'm… Second General, so, _General_'s second in command, that is." Nope. Not bragging. Possibly not coherent, either... Time to change the subject. "Well, we get stuck up in this 'official military office' that, well…" Okay, trail off like you find this next part embarrassing. "Frankly, it smells like ass all the time…" Wince self-consciously. "I figured, well, maybe some flowers would ease the pain." Smile charmingly again; hold out the 20 gil.

Now, from past experience, when a girl pauses and her face goes blank, it means there's some sort of break-through going on.

"Well…" She's smiling! Oh, man, wow. Oh, wow, look at that smile! "You know, it might not be flowers you're really looking for…" I'm taking 'em anyways- with 20 gil, I'm not even taking half her bundle! Geez, how the heck does she see around all these things? Hey, these smell _really _good... "If—" she continues, counting out the last few flowers and handing them to me, "If you want my suggestion," I do, and I'm going to nod very enthusiastically to prove it, "I would use some Febreeze."

Mayday! Mayday! _Man down!_ 

Admittedly, this is a mistake on my part. I mean, a girl with her looks grows up in the slums, and I think a corny routine is gonna work on her? She's probably been sweepin' the sidewalks with guys three times my size since she was five. Indeed, there at her hip is what looks suspiciously like an extendable staff. 

A cunning sales-lady, too. Notice she only brushed me off _after _she had my money. Clever, clever girl. Gutsy, too, because I'm sure a lotta guys go piping mad over that little stunt. Strategically stuffing people's arms with flowers so to hamper movement? _Veeeeery_ possible. 

The more I think about it, the more I like this girl. 

Alright, but _I'm_ not some slug- she's got nothing to fear from me. So let's go for round two, shall we?

"Y'know what?" I call after her, "I'll take them all!" Probably not a good idea to _literally _run after this girl— odds are she'll either run away, or spin around and haymaker my boys. Neither scenario is constructive here, so I'll stick to just calling after her, and waiting for her to turn around.

Which she does, with a suspicious look that says she's waiting for me to finish. So I do.

"But! …only if you tell me where I can get some o' that 'Febreeze'." Charming smile number three, with an order of bashful and some sly on the side.

She still looks suspicious, but I think her lips are twitching. Oh yeah! Just a little, but they are!

"I mean, honestly, I wouldn't even know where to start looking." This is true. "And, well, at the very least, I'll walk away with a whole bunch of flowers." Puppy eyes. Puppy-puppy-puppy-puppy-_puppy _eyes… come on…

"Well," she says. She's chewing on her lower lip, and her eyes are to one side, but not so far that she can't see me. She's not coming any closer, but that's fine. "About three blocks down that way there's a store called 'Mert's'." Uh-oh. "You should be able to find some there. And… don't worry about the flowers. I need enough to last me through the day, anyway."

"Oh." Not even the puppy-eyes! "Oh, okay. I see. Well, in that case, um. I-I guess… I should be going, then, huh?"

She's smiling again.

It takes me a second to notice that she's nodding, too.

"Alright, then. Okay. Well, uh, it was… really…. _really great _meeting you, miss… uh…"

"Nice meeting you, too."

Aaaaaaannnd… I'm not moving. We're both _waiting _for me to move, but I'm not. I mean, I'm _trying _to move… admittedly not very hard, but I am trying, that should count for something. She's staring at me, not looking very surprised, but maybe a little concerned.

"Well…" Okay, so, this is a _little _awkward, but it can be resolved. I hope. I've bundled my flowers in the crook of one elbow and moved my free hand to the back of my neck before I even realize what I'm doing. I pull the hand back and give it a betrayed glare. Readjust the flowers in front of me.

"I'll go…." Three steps. Stop. "Uh…" Fourth step— falter on the fifth. Stop. Look back at her. "Okay. I'll, uh—" Trip and land flat on my ass. Okay, didn't plan that. Note to self: can't walk backwards while looking sideways on uneven pavement.

She looks pretty amused, though.

"Ow…"

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry! Are you alright? I didn't mean to laugh…" She's walked back toward me now, but not close enough for me to reach out and even brush my fingertips on her. Not that I _could_ reach her around all these strategically arm-filling flowers. "Oh, here, have a flower. On me. I'm sorry." I am so _totally_ right.

"Hey, don't apologize! It's not your fault. I'm the clumsy dip who's not looking where he's going." Ouch. Well, she didn't walk away, right? Getting up… Ooh, I dropped some of the flowers when I fell. Phew! No damage! "I'm serious, though. I'd like to buy the rest of your flowers." Man, do these things smell good.

Thirty-seven gil later, and she's giggling madly at my desperate fumbling. Quite the bouquet I have here. Seph oughta be impressed. Heh.

Over them all I give her another charming smile and declare, "Excuse me, miss!" I march off proudly to the end of the way, click my heels, then spin around and march straight back to her. She's looking at me, rather bewildered, as I re-appear in front of her, half hidden behind a mound of the most beautiful, sweet-smelling flowers I've ever come across. She probably can't see it, but I'm beaming behind all these things.

"Delivery for the lovely lady on the street?"

She blinks again, her wide, bright eyes like curious emeralds. Then she smiles. She'll play along.

"She's just down the way, sir!" she chirps at me.

"No, no, I'm fairly certain I've found her."

"You sound awfully certain for a man who doesn't even know the name of this so-called 'lovely lady.'"

"Well, Miss, I was told to look for the most beautiful gal I'd ever seen, and name or no, I do have a delivery for you."

"... I—"

"A special delivery! Fifty-seven of the most sweet-smelling flowerson the planet hand delivered by a clumsy (yet charming and irresistible) moron to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen."

And now for the daring move. I close the "out-of-arm's-reach" distance between us, and begin shuffling the flowers back into her grasp. 

She lets out a surprised squawk, but has to accept the massive bundle, or else let them fall to the ground.

She has them all— all but one —and with a wink and the most charming grin in my arsenal I retreat to a few feet away, snap to attention, salute, and then march off, out of the alleyway and into my own imaginary sunset of steel grates and green-tinted smog. But at the end of the alley, I look back, and there she stands, eyes wide with shock, wonder, amusement, confusion, and maybe just a little awe. Looking like a beam of sunlight piercing through the murk. I make a show of taking a long sniff of my lone flower, and then make a strategic retreat.

And let no one doubt— I'll be back.

O

**_In Crisis Core they call Zack "puppy." I totally called that one!_**

**A/N: **I like this piece. Had it for a while on my account at school and I wasn't quite sure what I was gonna do with it. Still a little unsure, but whatever. Anybody know where I got the title from? (hint: "He vas… my _boy-vriend_!")

**Edit: **(12/23/05) Congratulations go to **Desolator **for getting it right!

**Edit:** (11/26/07) Whew! Been a while, huh? Well, as of today, the whole piece has been reworked. Twenty-seven months is enough time for my writing to improve dramatically, (though not so much as I'd like, as I had an ungodly case of writers block for twenty four of those months.) 

There was _so_ much about this piece that needed fixing. Like the beginning! I wrote that with an idea in my mind of where "Walk This Way" was going, but the piece took on a mind of its own, and somehow I just left the opening the way it was! I don't think anybody commented on that, but it's been bugging the hell out of me. So I finally got up off my dead ass and fixed it. Still not happy with it, but it's better, at least. Rejoice! 

It's not perfect, but I'm supposed be working on my piece for my CLASS on Creative Writing. I'm just happy it got a little bit of my time at last. If you see anything I still need to fix, including awkward sentences or something that's unclear, PLEASE let me know.

**(12.29.07)** Just tweaked a few more things— gave myself a month away from it again. (If I read it too much I stop seeing the words...)

**(8.14.08)** lol, edited again. MUCH better, now. I can't help but think Zack's gonna get a good smack with that staff of Aeris' when he shows back up XD


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